Orderly Jesters Gifts

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Richard the Turd

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Any other skills?"

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Rodins rotten juggler

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Jump! Jump! How high? He just doesn't get it, does he?

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'I ran with them once.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Work/Life Balance.

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

'Frankly, Yorick's big comedy comeback tour's a disappointment.'

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Don't be such a poor loser. You knew this would happen when you lost the Flopsies account !

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

Coast to coast walk.