Urban Jesters Gifts

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

'It certainly is a big one!'

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

Coast to coast walk.

Dried Herbs

No, I'm not asking you to declare the witness hostile, you honor. Can you just declare him

"It's not as easy as it looks."

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

'What is he fishing for?'

"Thank goodness I convinced them to put this playground outside of the courthouse. Now it feels like recess."

Bad Reads

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

Cheap Parking

"It's actualy a 10 liter hat, I'm from Canada." (two cowboys talking about a large hat)

Man denies seeing two men when he is asked.

"I'm not a programmer, so the fact that you translated your report card into code makes me a little suspicious."