Modern-day Jesters Gifts

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Giggle.

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

Why he always make pictures of him food?

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

Homeless man's sign: 'Sperm donor to the crowned heads of Europe.'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'It certainly is a big one!'

"I downloaded this trading-app that allows me to work from home."

I never thought I'd be competing with cat videos!

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

"This new job of mine is like paradise."

Dried Herbs

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

"Sorry, but nobody around here reads anymore."

"I can't live under a bridge, Mom and Dad. I want to be an internet troll."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

Bad Reads

'I'm sorry, Jee-Jee, but Toomak has mad skills.'

"The torture game is certainly a lot easier these days."

'Why don't we make it simple this year, and you just extend me a line of credit?'

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

"I feel I no longer entertain the king. If I truly want his attention, I should join his tech-support team."

'Careful, now -- those things can give you warts!'