Cultural Jesters Gifts

"It's actualy a 10 liter hat, I'm from Canada." (two cowboys talking about a large hat)

'Your French dip, sir.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

All-Candy Seder.

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

Pandora's Change Purse...

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Why he always make pictures of him food?

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'It certainly is a big one!'

'Er, Jane, if my wife's kidnappers ring I'm in a meeting.'

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

"Congratulations! I'm promoting you to be my food taster!"

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

Dried Herbs

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

I agree with you Sadie. It's a total waste. What is? Facebook. It just sucks up your time, with the chatting and the updates and the Scrabble playing. Scrabble? People play on Facebook, or their iPhones, or casual game sites. Total waste. I love Scrabble! Hook baited. Internal conflict!

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'

Madam Zelta foresees all.

Bad Reads

'Raymond's an anarchist couch potato.'

How to make two yarmulke out of one Brassiere