Language Jesters Gifts

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Pumping up wig in blender.

'This mission-statement is complete gibberish, Hudson. Well done.'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

'Is he taking the piss?'

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'We've had to pool our resources.'

"In business it's called "constant contact." In society it's called "stalking"".

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth