Language Jester Gifts

'Like I told you: French is English spelt backwards!'

'It's not called bad breath anymore. It's breath behaving badly.'

"You want another dip - what are you, a dipsomaniac?"

'The magian didn't have to grouch about the mucker's mafficking.'

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Waste Not

Coughee Cup

Toilet Out Of Order

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

All-Candy Seder.

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Books / Coffee table books

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

Pandora's Change Purse...

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."