Verbal Jester Gifts

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

Shifting Your Ground

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Books / Coffee table books

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Poet's Corner