Verbal Jouster Gifts

Cockfight of words

Where did the cretin go? The what? The cretin. The fool. The creep. The idiot. The imbecile. The moron. The loser. The ignoramus. The oaf. The simpleton. The twerp. The loon. The ninny. The nincompoop. The blockhead. The clod. The twit. The clown. The bird-brain. The halfwit. The fathead. The stooge. The dolt. The schlemiel. The sap. The dunce. The goose. The doofus. And that's just his first name. For some odd reason, he's avoiding you.

You ought to be in the funny papers, counselor. That was yet another hilarious objection. Overruled, of course.

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"Uh oh, Mongrel is subbing in a British voice talent to deliver understated but devastating put-downs."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

Thesaurus Company

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Karaoke night.

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"You legal babbled in your sleep all night."

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Bookworm group

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

Quick Crossword.

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."