Verbal Play Aficionado Gifts

'At the Spoonerism cafe...' 'Ah - here comes my carrots and peas.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Nuts to you, too."

"Privates Beach"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

AA Meeting Here Today

The americanisation of vulture.

"I stand corrected."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Didn't you just say that?"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"You have word-ill."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Punkins

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'I think I've scored.'