Wordplay Admirers Gifts

"There are our running shoes and these are our running shoes for running."

A FAREWELL TO ARMS ERNEST HEMINGWAY

Santa Clops

'Thanks be to salmon, I am technically accurate.'

New! Corduroy Pillows! They're making headlines!

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

"I just came from a meeting of the red hat society."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"I'm feeling frisky, Babe... I hope you carry protection."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Wok. Don't Wok.

Lesser known greek gods,

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Vlad the Inhaler

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Gay Times...

Please Drove Carefully.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"