Wordplay Enthusiasts Gifts

'I connected my food processor to my computer, in case I have to eat my words.'

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

'Enough of this bickering! let's just do it alphabetically.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Your HMO won't cover this so I'm going to rub some salt in these wounds."

"Where is the Dead Sea?" "I didn't even know it was sick!"

Anger management class

Flea Market.

"Your hindsight is 20/20, but your foresight is legally blind."

'Watch that one, he'll make mugs of us all.'

'Dad says our house has a skeptic system.'

'You've come straight from an atheist birthday party?!!' 'EIGHTIETH! EIGHTIETH!'

'Catholic families believe in the holy acrimony of marriage.'

'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'

Irony - also spelled 'ironie', Ironie - also spelled 'irony'.

"I can't see the food for the peas."

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Hello, somebody said you had gone into the timber and phosphorus business."

'It's the banks new motto.'

'I've developed a new cable for congressional press conferences. I call it fibber optics.'

"I plagiarized my report because I thought it bears repeating."

Boomerang Birthdays.

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

Span

'When I applied here for the advertised human resource position I had no idea that I was the resource.'

"I'm here about my grandson who swallowed the coins!"

Box Office

Please fill out the form below do not abbrev.

Count Dorkula.

'It must have belonged to Mom before she married Dad. He calls it his step-ladder.'

Fish: 'Wanna play doctor?' 'Only if I can be sturgeon general.'

Pear Pressure

Only a handful of people are this small.