Fans Of Wordplay Gifts

Nah, the tooth fairy only visits kids - my name's Ginger Vitis.

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

"You asked if I could type blood."

Ask not for whom the gums bleed. They bleed for thee. ?

"I don't like this. Jimmy should have been back out here by now. The cops have been in there grilling him for over an hour!"

'Hello, Tech Support? - I hit 'escape' and I'm still here.'

Sign falling from wall reading 'Think fast!'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

Lesser known greek gods,

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Gay Times...

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.