Fans Of Wordplay T-Shirts

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

"You asked if I could type blood."

"I don't like this. Jimmy should have been back out here by now. The cops have been in there grilling him for over an hour!"

'Hello, Tech Support? - I hit 'escape' and I'm still here.'

Sign falling from wall reading 'Think fast!'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Lesser known greek gods,

Please Drove Carefully.

Gay Times...

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Privates Beach"

The Alpha Seltzer

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'