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Neurotica

Free Contradictions only $2.00.

'How about letting me off the hook.'

'He fell off his high horse.'

'Eureka may or may NOT be the most appropriate response, I think we need to set up a policy committee to consider developing a policy that encapsulates...'

"Stick with Ted, he'll show you the ropes."

'Please sir - all of them!'

'You're under arrest for being a whistle blower.'

1668: Just before innuendo was invented.

'Difficult negotiations is my main speciality. I'm used to walking on thin ice.'

"Mom, Dad, I'm merry."

"So kids, today we are learning to recognize bait..."

"Why, yes, I do have buns of steel."

Stand back, I'm a suicide footballer...I could go off at any time.

'And you'll be seated at the head table!'

Bad Hare Day

I'm going to make you an offal you can't refuse.'

"Right I'm going to try and talk him down, then back up again, then down again...

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

Gertrude the Jackal

William the Conkerer 1066

"Sorry, I forgot to mention, I have aides."

"You've got to hand it to Bernie, he certainly lives life on his own terms, Never wanting to follow the herd, no commitments, no stupid egrets."

"Remember, Nurse ... a patient is a virtue."

"Mother in Law"

"Exercising you right not to exercise is not exercise."

"Look, I got engaged."

"Latest news! Janet's got the sack!"

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

Apartments Available: Call Mickey.

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

"I thought 'friends with benefits' meant being able to borrow each other's cars."

The Loneliest Archaeologist

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'