Loves Wordplay T-Shirts

'Yes, there has been a merger... but not the one I'd hoped for.'

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'That's two Ts.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Please Drove Carefully.

Gay Times...

Punt Cake

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Vlad the Inhaler

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"Privates Beach"