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I couldn't remember who the dickens wrote David Copperfield and Oliver Twist.

'I checked with accounting and there's no missin' treasure, so I'm not sure what ye mean when ye say the scoundrel touched yar booty.'

'I know my pin number, it's my name I can't remember.'

Happy birthday to Ewe...'

'We want youth in asia.'

Light and Heavy bulbs for sale.

"When Mom gives us alphabet soup it feels like she's putting word's in my mouth."

Kidney Trans Plant

"Do you keep stationery here?"

Spayed A Spayed

Guy standing on the end of a pier and the pier is saying 'Go on ya wimp, jump' - Pier pressure

Yes, Ralph, you blew the interview because there was something between your teeth...your foot!

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Glue and Stick Glue Factory

"You're lucky to have your case tried by Judge Hemingway. He's known for his short snappy sentences."

Falling rock stars.

'So you are a writer?'

The judge said I didn't have a leg to stand on.

No Goldfishing. A-hem!

"Fowl!"

'A sand wedge. A sand wedge, for crying out loud.'

Witch's spell check.

'The difference between this place and yoghurt is... Yoghurt has real culture!'

'No saucer again! What do they take me for - a mug?'

'It's a vest for life.'

'You realize the first three letters in diet spells DIE'

Drag Racing

Closing Laugh, Speech Therapy

'King Arthur discovers camel lot'

China Shop: 'No bulls allowed.'

"I said you should be diplomatic, not DIPSOMATIC!"

"I owe my success to natural selection - my daddy was rich and my ma good lookin'."

Coffee shop offers A-D-D-caf coffee

Toilet-Trees

"She's a rescue."