Wordplay Aficionados Gifts

'My mother was a real bitch!'

Fencing Club - Out to Lunge.

"No, you may not call me Mrs. Z."

The Buttox.

False Insurance Claims

'How can I think without words?'

No Calligraphers

There's a fork in the road.

"I've been feeling lightheaded!"

student to teacher: 'I keep forgetting how to spell 'amnesia'.'

'I said, 'take us to your leader', that's whoo!'

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

'Scallywag. S-C-A-L-L......' - Pirate School.

"Sign here please." "Scorpio?"

A Blind window blind on the streets hoping for a donation.

Sexuallt transmitted disease clinic - "My computer has DVD"

The Ultimate In Rodent Praise.

A Club Sandwitch.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'No, it is not the same thing, now change it to Chief Executive Officer.'

"You're in the wrong place, pal! This is a crow bar!"

"The trunk is packed. Let's hit the road."

"She left you, Larry — you really have to stop beating yourself up over it."

Green Trash

Hook, Line and Stinker

"Neversource"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Not Uggs. Puggs.

Golfing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the fours be with you! Especially of the par fives.

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."

Chiroquacktic school

We prefer "kitchen surface installers." not "counter-fitters."

When I heard this was a watch party I thought there'd be a group of people and a big TV with the football game on. Me too. Let's go. We don't have time for this.

Meerkats / Mercats

I like the cut of your jib. Okay, full disclosure time: I have a pretty sick jib fetish. ? ?