Lovers Of Wordplay Gifts

'Whenever I walk in a room,everyone ignores me.'

Blake's Sealant.

Bullroom Dancing.

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

The Adventures Of Normalman

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

No Cold Callers.

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

"I'll bring your salad right away, but your snails will of course take longer."

'He used to be a good all rounder. . . now he's just round!'

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

'There is pressure on your opticpoopular nerve, which is causing a flutter in your isis. This makes your vision blurry when you look through your corn hole.'

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

'I think I have a cracked head.' - 'And what's wrong with the car?'

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

'Please Wait to be Seeded - Thank You.'

'It feels like smoke. is it smoke?' - 'I haven't given to you, yet.'

Disabled parking only sir.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"The umbrella policy covers everything you own that can be covered by this umbrella."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"