Lovers Of Witty Wordplay Gifts

'Well sir its all relative, it is closer to the ground than the one above.'

'I only promised to marry him because he said he was rich - Then I found out that was just his name!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Gay Times...

Lesser known greek gods,

The Pink Bantha

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

A Club Sandwitch.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"He just said his first word!"

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Tequila Mockingbird

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Shell Fire

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"Hair spray"

"Neversource"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

Prayboy

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Green Trash

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"I have never ever heard Dante rhymed quite like that with ricochet before. Bravo Professor Firenze, you have moved our hearts!"

'So, how was flight school?'

'So who's smoking?'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.