Witty Wordplay Fans Gifts

I'm thinking about cutting off my ear, just like my idol, Vincent Van Gogh. You're a comic strip character, Al. Just use an eraser.

Closed. Back in a minuet.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Gay Times...

Lesser known greek gods,

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

The Pink Bantha

The Alpha Seltzer

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Super Heroes.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Cat Burglar

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

A Club Sandwitch.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"He just said his first word!"

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Tequila Mockingbird

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Shell Fire

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.