Wordplay Enthusiasts Pillows

'I connected my food processor to my computer, in case I have to eat my words.'

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

'Enough of this bickering! let's just do it alphabetically.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Where is the Dead Sea?" "I didn't even know it was sick!"

"Your HMO won't cover this so I'm going to rub some salt in these wounds."

"Your hindsight is 20/20, but your foresight is legally blind."

Anger management class

'Dad says our house has a skeptic system.'

'Catholic families believe in the holy acrimony of marriage.'

'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'

'Watch that one, he'll make mugs of us all.'

'You've come straight from an atheist birthday party?!!' 'EIGHTIETH! EIGHTIETH!'

Flea Market.

"I can't see the food for the peas."

Tequila Mockingbird

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Irony - also spelled 'ironie', Ironie - also spelled 'irony'.

'Boy, our son is sharp!'

'I need to raise the debt ceiling.'

Span

'Out! - We don't serve your type!'

'Excuse me, is anyone using this stool?'

Boomerang Birthdays.

Fish: 'Wanna play doctor?' 'Only if I can be sturgeon general.'

"Hello, somebody said you had gone into the timber and phosphorus business."

'I've developed a new cable for congressional press conferences. I call it fibber optics.'

Only a handful of people are this small.

Box Office

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

'All opposed to moving the plant to Mexico say, 'adios'.'

Please fill out the form below do not abbrev.

'You need to lose about 30 pounds of gravitas.'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'