Whimsical Wordplay Aficionado Gifts

"I'm totally bipartisan. I eat as many birds as I do mice."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Cake Free Zone

AA Meeting Here Today

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Nuts to you, too."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Privates Beach"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."