Whimsical Wordplay Aficionado Gifts

"I'm totally bipartisan. I eat as many birds as I do mice."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Please Drove Carefully.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Punt Cake

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Privates Beach"

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Nuts to you, too."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

The americanisation of vulture.

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"