Language Juggler Gifts

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

"I can't go"

'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'

"He doesn't speak English. Act out for him that he should take 2 pills and 3 pills alternate days for nine days, and then he should come back here."

Learn to Speak: French, Spanish, HTML, CSS.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"You're writing in the masculine again."

'Your wife didn't understand me either - until I started using spell check.'

"I saw a saw saw a see-saw."

"For years I've been baring my soul in here, and you've hardly said a word."

Mange tout or man get out

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

Wordplay: Trash

'I used all the right words to describe my employee...but not necessarily in the right order.'

'I plan to hyphenate my name when I marry. But eventually I'd like to upgrade to a semicolon followed by a lightning bolt.'

'What do you call a person who steals identities?', 'An 'yclept-o-maniac.''

Translator

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

Dyslexia clinic with a signa: Out Ot Hcnul

'Effin' English - that wasn't one of my best subjects either son.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

The correct expression is "May I approach the bench?" , not "May I approach the barn?"

Your texts are filled with abbreviations I don’t understand, Axel. For instance, my best guess is that "ROTFLMAO" means "rubbing out the fleas laminating medicinal animal ointment."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher