Jargon Jugglers Gifts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'

'I'm exploring another revenue stream.'

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Do you think we're using the right key word?"

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

Although Frank gets away with overusing that phrase on his diagnostic reports at work, it doesn't work out so well at home.

'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

Net Etiquette

"Here we call it a pregnancy, not a startup."

'Your job hasn't been DOWNSIZED.. it's been CAPSIZED.'

'I had time to get into the nitty of your report, but not the gritty.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Without management consultants how is the NHS meant to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in it's client nourishment product....'

'No one will turn up-this lot don't have much use for that sort of thing!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

"Our mandates almost overlapped."

"I ran it up the flagpole and no one knew how to salute."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"If it made sense, that would be a very powerful idea."

"My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula