Medical Jargon Juggler Gifts

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

A Bloody Butcher

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"It's a swearbox."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Santas Key Deliverables.

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'