Medical Jargon Sleuth Gifts

'No, madam, radiolucency does not refer to the diarrhea you get...'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

'I got my grant to study why the word 'COOL' persists generation after generation'

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

'Key hole surgery....but wouldn't it be easier if you were actually in the room with me...'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'To avoid lawsuits, we articulate in medicalese that most mortals could not render intelligible.'

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"He fought like hell."

Motor Co - It's from Head Office, we've all got to be Crypton tuned.

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

'At a guess I'd say there were Santa's little helpers.'

"How did it go? Read my blog."

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

"I have some good news and bad news, wonderful news, terrifying news, boring news, stunning news, technically incomprehensible news, news you should sit down to hear, and news you definitely won't take laying down. Which first?"

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'