Medical Jargon Jester Gifts

"The doctor said my cholesterol is a par, and my blood pressure is a birdie. I don't golf, so I still don't know if I'm healthy."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

"I think Baxter needs a break."

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

'Key hole surgery....but wouldn't it be easier if you were actually in the room with me...'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

"Med Brittle"

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

'This mission-statement is complete gibberish, Hudson. Well done.'

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."