Language Jugglers Gifts

Bilingual

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We have an acronym!"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"It's a swearbox."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'