Language Juggernaut Gifts

"What, I don’t get any credit for being in the ballpark?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"It's a swearbox."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

The Working Mum

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'