Linguistic Juggernaut Gifts

'The nice thing about dictating a letter is you can use words you can't spell.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Communication Breakdowns

Holy Mackerel

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

"Spring Chicken"

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

Time Table

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

Traffic Jam

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

"I don't understand what people are saying up here."