Professional Juggler Of Words Gifts

'As editor, your first job will be to rewrite your resume.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"The meeting will come to order."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Interdisciplinary studies.

"We have an acronym!"

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

To do before Saturday...

A Bloody Butcher

Introducing...Anagraman.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"It's a swearbox."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."