Literary Jesters Gifts

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

Bad Reads

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Books / Coffee table books

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! Malaprop Man! I hear you told people in England you're royalty. Yeah, at first they didn't realize that I was only Joe King. I was an error to the throne who rained for forty days and forty knights. It's disappointing though that I never got to see a pig riding contest at Bucking Ham palace. And I never met Sherlock Holmes. He's the guy who followed the foot prince!

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

Poet's Corner

'Is he taking the piss?'

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

Just think if that meteor had never hit planet earth 65 million years ago...

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'It certainly is a big one!'