Playful Jesters Gifts

Who's the wise guy!

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

Rodins rotten juggler

"Any other skills?"

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'He said his first buzz word today!'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'Is he taking the piss?'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'It certainly is a big one!'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'If you're going to send messages on the office intranet make sure you know who's going to get them.'

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

'Now I'm getting those 'Psychic Pal' commercials when I dream!'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms