Cultural Jester Gifts

Pandora's Change Purse...

"Get it? Doctor, lawyer, Indian chef!"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

All-Candy Seder.

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Books / Coffee table books

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Poet's Corner

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'Is he taking the piss?'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."