Societal Jester Gifts

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

Pandora's Change Purse...

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

Donald Trump's Flying Circus