Social Interaction Jester Gifts

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

The prying mantis,

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"This will be hilarious!"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'Any questions?'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."