Rural Jesters Gifts

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

"It's not as easy as it looks."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Cockerel sings the blues...

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

The Rural Bidet...

Pumping up wig in blender.

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

The herd of hearing.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

Coast to coast walk.

Banana Arcade Game

Turkey Hostage.

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

"No one turned in a cow, pig or chicken Mr. McDonald."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

Horse pitching shoe...

"Oh, I don't mind! Anything that tastes like a ten ounce, medium rare, rib-eye steak."

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

Shepherd looks at Ewe-tube.

Man denies seeing two men when he is asked.