Nature Jesters Gifts

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'It must be a milkfish.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

Just think if that meteor had never hit planet earth 65 million years ago...

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

The Apis Dance Studio

Coast to coast walk.

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

'GIT!!!'

"Not the God I expected."

Banana Arcade Game

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

"Trust me, it's just a stupid song: Of course you can smile at a crocodile..."

Another session of the lunch-hour scientists...

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

"When I almost choked on a stick thinking it was a stick insect, I knew it was time to get glasses..."

"It's not as easy as it looks."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'