Jungle Jesters Gifts

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

Banana Arcade Game

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Snowman of the Apes

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Influence this."

Crow and fox

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Any other skills?"

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Monkey Business

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

Rodins rotten juggler

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."