Jungle Jester Gifts

Multitasking Monkey

'It may be his inner ear.'

'It would seem that grooming one another is very important in maintaining social order.'

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Crow and fox

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

'I'll grab the prey's attention and distract them while you sneak up from behind...'

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'If you think you're making me jealous. Think again.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

Tarzan The Musical

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Tarzan

Why monkeys still live in trees.

"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."

Native weight watchers.

'It's Fanshaw, I tell you. I'd recognise that silly grin anywhere.'

Cheeky monkeys.

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'I know you're at home, Oog -- I can see your feet!'

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'

Primate Speech Lab. We're having mixed results --- Mostly, the chimps, gorillas and orangutans just sit around making up interspecies slurs about each other.

The Lyin' King

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Snowman of the Apes

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"