Jungle Jokester Gifts

"You were hungry? Case dismissed."

'Honey, the 'best before' date on this zebra was over two weeks ago.'

"The hardest part is admitting you have a problem."

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

'No you can't be a vegetarian, son. It just isn't very lion.'

Penile Implants

"Every time you want to eat a waiter, you can't find one."

"Leave it alone, Larry...those things are loaded with saturated fat and cholesterol!"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

'You think being short and fat is bad?-- I've been struck by lightning seventeen times this year!'

'Your ape call is important to us - please press 6 for angry natives, 5 for lions, or 4 for a general stampede!'

"You reckon Winterbottom is still in the clutches of that impossible female?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'I'm wearing those me print panties you like.'

Lions secret revealed.

'We're really lost! I haven't seen a Starbucks for over an hour.'

Handyman painting in a zoo, He is using a snake as a safety rope.

'He sure has a cold nose, doesn't he?'

'Tarzan, will you please tell that damn ape to get lost!'

"Yes, it's perfume! Laugh all you want, but it masks my natural scent and lets me sneak closer to prey..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

It Works!

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"I don't get it! I put my hand up all the time, but the teacher just ignores me. . ."

'When Jane divorced me she let me keep my loin cloth.'

"Aha! - the pygmy village must be nearby..."

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

Darn baboons: they're mooning us again!

"Yeah, I might be a runt, but the bright side is that I'm not a target for trophy hunters..."

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

"Forget about using a stick to gather ants: I have a vacuum-cleaner..."

"Don't be silly, the vegetables are not for me: I use them as bait..."

A guilty looking lion at the Missing Persons booth.