Jungle Comedian Gifts

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"Eat me"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

Snowman of the Apes

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Penguin

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Influence this."