Jungle Humorist Gifts

'YOU Tarzan... ME Jane's attorney.'

I don't believe this! Where did they get these photos?

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

"My mum gave me one piece of advice, never try to outrun a zebra."

"Who's responsible for this thing? It's filthy."

Way too much anthropomorphising

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Try me/try me/try me...

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Get out of my face!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Pray for me.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Giraffe Portrait

Snowman of the Apes

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'