Jungle Humour Gifts

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Snowman of the Apes

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Influence this."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Fasten your seat belt."

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

T-Rex of the Apes

Tarzan mobile phone

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Monkey Business

'Tarzan'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."