Jungle Jokesters Gifts

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call an insurance agent saying we want to buy a policy, and eat him when he arrives?'

'Every week a sum of money the size of this rainforest disappears to service the UK's national debt.'

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

"1-800 Herd of Elephants."

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call our insurance agent, say we want to get Medigap coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Snowman of the Apes

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Influence this."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Jurassic Ark

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'The great stampedes are over, son. All you can hope for today is an occasional goring.'

'I'll remove the thorn as soon as you've signed the waiver form.'

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."