Jungle Jokers Gifts

Modern animal communication

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'Yeacch! Did you check the expiration date on this thing?'

'Why did Tarzan name his chimp cheetah?'

"Tell me truthfully, mummy, was I adopted?"

'... and I'd give the rainforests a miss for a while, Sir Randolph.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Snowman of the Apes

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Crow and fox

"Influence this."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Ecotourism.

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

Color-Rectal Exams for Baboons...

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

Way too much anthropomorphising

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

Monkey Business