Jungle Humour Pillows

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Snowman of the Apes

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Influence this."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

T-Rex of the Apes

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'Tarzan'

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'