Jogging Jesters Gifts

How to run a marathon.

Man denies seeing two men when he is asked.

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Jogging Bottoms

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Women in a cross country race

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Tennis ball girl.

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Rodins rotten juggler

"Any other skills?"

Show Jumping Tantrums

False encouragement.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'