Jogging Jokester Gifts

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'A 401K? Are you kidding? I can't even run a 5K!'

'You shouldn't call them 'perverts', it's considered offensive.'

Trapped in the treadmill.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

Ran out of time.

"She may have an incredible body, but we have incredible ice cream."

'I love these computerized running shoes that do the running without you.'

'Please leave my driver's license -- I can't handle the DMV.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"I though Adams was supposed to be a jogger? He's late for work and he isn't jogging!"

10K Text-And-Run.

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

'The best way to shed the pounds is not eating while your wife is on the phone!'

Running coast to coast for attention.

'I owe my physical fitness to my wife -- I never would've taken up jogging if she hadn't wrecked the car.'

'Running like the wind? Ha. More like a dying breeze.'

'Obesity runs in my family...Actually, it shuffles in my family.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'When I put the liniment on, that's when I really feel the burn.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I forgot to program my smartwatch to remind me to stop running. I'm about 1,200 miles away."

"Please help me get these squirrels out of my pants. This isn't a pickup line. I really need assistance."

"I can only run for 30 mins, it's the longest I can bare to be away from my phone."

'Hey, a running suit. I didn't know you were into running. Maybe we could go running together sometime.' 'Actually, I'm not. I'm into elastic waistbands. But hey, maybe we could go eating together sometime.'

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

Bad trap laying.

'Hi, Dr. Harris, I understand you jog very day. How about jogging down my street on a house call?'

'Ooooh, I like that one... it reeks!'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'You'd run a lot faster if you didn't wear all that gear.'

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

A Jogging Bra.

'If running's so good for you, why do you never see a jogger smile?'