Jogging Humor Gifts

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"I hate this time of year."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

LOOK BHIND U!

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

Fork in the trail.

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

Kick me

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"Downward facing dog"

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Yeah, I'm a Roadrunner, but it is easier on my feet and joints if I run on the grass..."

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"